Today, at work, I learned a new word...actually I re-learned it; I knew it once but then I forgot. The word is "weenis"- the loose skin found at the elbow.
Today I was told to stop playing with my weenis. Playing with my weenis almost cost me an air hockey game. And this is why I love pediatrics...the patients get my humor. Don't ask me how the weenis came up in conversation, it just did. I'm shamefully good at building rapport with the immature and crazy patients; its why they pay me the big bucks. And because I am soooo mature, I kept LOL'ing in my mouth when I thought about the weenis all day long, and people thought I was schizo for laughing for no reason.
I have people who are the weenises in my life. They kind of just exist as part of my life experience, and I'm not always sure why. Most of the time, I don't really even notice they are there, as they just kind of leech on to my existence (and elbows) with their questionable, stretchy purpose. Then, when I do notice them, I find them kind of ugly and extraneous. Maybe by being ugly, those weenae (latin plural of weenis) have helped me, and my elbows, learn to be a little more flexible. I mean, it's gotta be hard to fully extend yourself, and your elbow, without the support of the weenis. What weenis doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. But sometimes you can have too much weenis in your life, and its time to trim the fat.
So, in another moment of supreme maturity (equivalent to an 11 year old), I have trimmed the fat of the weenis people in my life, at least in digital format. That's right, I have performed my first-ever facebook friend list circumcision. It was such a simple act, but daaaamn, it felt good, it was so symbolic of what I'm trying to do with my life at this point. I literally went through and did a "gut check", and erased every single person who made me feel "blaaah" in the stomach. Those people , who through their interactions with me or negative statuses or whatever bring me down a notch. So, by reading this, chances are that you've clicked through my facebook link, which in turn means that you've made the cut....so congratulations, you're a survivor! If you found me through some other form, welcome, enjoy the party, I hope you're wearing pants.
Anyway, my point in doing this wasn't to be mean or bitchy or get all Mean Girls on the world...I could never be that cool. The fact is, I am but a wee tiny fetus (actually, more of a zygote) in my spiritual gestation. Perhaps one day, I can have swagger like Mother Teresa and actually embrace these negative people and be thankful for the opportunity to uplift them. But, at this point in my life, I am but a tiny embryo that still needs to suck on the teat of positive reinforcement from the universe, so I've got to make a conscious effort to get rid of naysayers. I'm not ashamed of it...in fact, I'm pretty dang proud that I've grown to the point of even entering this marathon of growing into something more significant than just an ego-driven human being struggling through the competitive game show of life. Truth is, some people have come into my life just bearing a nice big heavy load of negative baggage. They just can't stand not to have their problems be my problems too. I would love to check their baggage for them and help a brother out, but for now my priority is to get my own butt into first-class before I can worry about storing other people's extra luggage in my overhead compartment. So sorry thy naysaying brethren, for now you've gotta be a stand-by passenger. I've been flying stand-by all my life (literally, comes with the territory of being a pilot's offspring), so I know there will be room for you eventually on this flight. I've just gotta build up my unconditional love muskles for the obnoxious folk of the world.
So, if you're like me and really really wanting to be all you can be, I recommend taking a few "self-ful" steps to take care of your sweet self, rather than worrying about other people and their opinions all the time...even if you do have to "delete" their existence in your life. The weenis of the world does serve a purpose, but sometimes you gotta ignore the extraneous skin in your life for a bit to take care of your overall well-being. In the meantime, don't have weenis envy. Until next time, party on party people!
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